How To Stop Complaining So Much?

Written by: Sen -

Complaining is the mind’s way of asserting that something really wrong has happened which is not “acceptable” to it.

You will notice your mind complaining most of the time, about something or the other.

The mind is usually in an adversarial relationship with the present moment, and is rarely at peace with it. So complaining is almost the “normal” habit of a human mind which is not resting in the stillness of being, or which is not “enlightened” to the truth of existence.

Here are 5 pointers on how to stop complaining so much, and thus attract more peace and positivity into your life.

1.) Know That Life is a Stream of Well-Being

Your life in essence, is a constantly expanding movement and it’s always moving towards well-being, abundance and betterment.

The complaining mind cannot accept that life is actually always “benevolent” and expands only in the direction of well-being.

Just look around you – the sun is shining, the earth is rotating peacefully in its axis, the food supply has not diminished even though the population has increased, the technology is ever improving and aims towards making everything easier for you and there is more entertainment now than ever before.

There is a natural balance to life and there is nothing that can tilt this balance.

The mind always tries to look for the one thing that is not working, while ignoring so many things that are working beautifully.

Very few minds, in their un-awakened state, are capable of truly appreciating the miracle of existence. To stop complaining about everything in your ‘mind reality’, just look at how expansive and abundant the space of nature really is.

2.) Don’t Complain, Just Prefer

The mind feels that it needs to complain in order to set things right.

In truth, the opposite is what happens. Here’s why:

Law of attraction dictates creation in this universe. The energy of complaining is negative by its very nature and hence can only produce negative results. Nothing good can ever come out of complaining. That’s a very good reason to stop complaining so much and start appreciating more instead.

Instead of complaining about the things that feel wrong in your life, just take up the attitude of ‘preferring’ or desiring better things without trying to condemn the present.

When you look at something you don’t want/like, instead of complaining about it, just think about how you would like things to be and let go.

A desire that comes forth from you is automatically taken up by the fast moving stream of life and it expands to accommodate your new preference.

‘Preferring’ is what the mind is supposed to do. It’s not here to complain but to prefer and help in the expansion of life stream.

3.) Let Go Of Your Need to be Right

You don’t have to assert your rightness by complaining about how wrong things are.

This habit is not only irritating to others around you, but is a huge energy sapper and it creates negative emotions in your body.

In this reality, there is no such thing as “right” or “wrong”. Good and bad are just perspectives.

One Man’s Meat is Another Man’s Poison.

What seems really “bad” to you might actually be what someone else might have loved to have. It’s a huge freedom to let go of the habit to find the “wrongness” in everything.

4.) Understand That Who You Are is Positive Energy

The reason why “complaining” feels bad to your being is because its vibration is one of lack, powerlessness and fear. On the other hand the vibration of your being is one of peace, love and joy.

When you complain, it will always feel bad in your body because now you are in conflict with your “true nature”.

A great motivation to stop complaining is to know that every time you complain you are fighting against life, against who you really are.

5.) Stay Conscious, and Don’t be Pulled in by Your Mind

You have power to disassociate from your mind, so that you don’t get dragged by its mental projections and commentary.

The mind by its very nature is prone to be in a state of “reaction”. If you are not conscious, you will be dragged into the mind, and for the moment become the mind.

You will notice that when you are conscious, the mind cannot overtake the body in the grip of its thoughts and hence you would end up in a trance of complaining.

In Conclusion

Life can be lived in a state of grace and blessedness, if you simply don’t fall for the perceptions and limited conclusions of your mind.

Ignore the mind, or just let it be, without taking it too seriously.

Life takes care of life, so be assured that your well-being is well taken care of. All you need to do is stop believing your mind when it projects a negative perception. Hope these insights provide you with guidance on how to stop complaining so much and start living more aligned with your true nature.

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Author Info
I sit down to write when there is an inspiration within to do so and then the words just flow through. These writings are not meant to create belief systems, dogmas, agendas or techniques. All these are just structures used by the "Me" to enhance itself. The real purpose of these writings, if any, is to awaken the recognition of your true nature. You don't need external guidance because it's already within you. All that's needed is that you become receptive to it. These writings are just meant to point you back to this place of receptivity. You can also...  visit author page.


  1. Reading this article made me realize that I have this ongoing pattern inside my mind that keeps complaining at all times. No matter what the situation is, the complains are always there which also leads to some bitter situations. I am going to actively try and change this pattern of thinking from here on. Thank you!

  2. Jz, can you get a sense that if you can “see” something, you must be “prior” to it. It’s the start of the realization that who you are is not the mind but the “pure witness” of the mind. You are “prior” to the mind. There are numerous thoughts in the mind, and as per the interpretation, each thought has the ability to trigger a vibration (a feeling) in your body or energy field. As long as you identify yourself with each thought (believing them to be “your” thoughts), you will always get an identity from these thoughts and that way you will stay a prisoner to the mind.

    Freedom starts with knowing that the “mind” is not personal, it’s not you. In fact, even the body is not you. You are prior to the manifested forms, because they only come forth in your “consciousness”.

    The mind is full of conditioning, human conditioning, and it’s no different than a computer that has a certain programming. A lot of conditioning, in the mind, is highly deluded and limiting (with no basis in truth). In fact most of the thoughts that mind generates is based on fear. In truth, your nature is free of fear and its only the mind that interprets reality in a fearful manner.

    You start coming back to your true nature as you start dis-identifying with the mind, knowing that its “not” you. The mind is a machine, and if you get lost in it, then the machine starts controlling you. Can you not see the “mechanical” nature of the mind, in that it keeps repeating patterns. The mind is highly limited in its intelligence, in fact it has no intelligence, its only a mechanical machine which can be programmed to do certain tasks. The mind is not capable of bringing wisdom to your life, its too limited for that task.

    Know yourself as who you are, the “pure witness” or consciousness that is prior to all thoughts. This witness is silent, but its pure intelligence. This witness is the creator of this universe, including this body-mind. Reside in the feeling place of this witness and it will start awakening in you. Just stay as the “pure witness” and you true nature will start shining through. This light will dissolve all the negative patterns of the mind, just by staying as the “pure consciousness or presence. I hope you get a sense of what I am pointing to.

  3. This is really interesting but how do you do this. If we are not the mind, how do we get pulled into its drama? If we are not the mind how do we get past the mind?

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