Moving On From A Bad Relationship – What You Need to Know

Written by: Emily Cordz

Almost everyone has experienced a bad relationship at some point in their history of dating. In many cases after the relationship has ended women still consider trying again with that person. They’ll make up all sorts of excuses, place all the blame with external factors and/or themselves, and generally delude themselves about how the relationship really was. Some women do this because they fear being alone. Others do it because they are in a habit of taking all the blame for any issues. No matter why you might be considering rekindling the flame with a past bad relationship, you really shouldn’t. Below are some tips for how to move on from a bad relationship.

Write Down All the Bad Things

When you think back on recently ended relationships it is common to forget, or marginalize, those things that made you end the relationship in the first place. There are two reasons people do this. One is because change is hard and the second is because many people are worried they’ll be alone forever. Help yourself combat this tendency by reminding yourself of the reasons you broke up in the first place. Maybe he made you feel like being yourself was inferior or bad. Maybe he hurt you. Maybe he was obsessively controlling. Whatever the reason make sure you don’t minimize its importance. You deserve better.

Focus on You

You’ve just got out of a bad relationship. Relationships are hard enough to move on from, but bad relationships often involve needing to rebuild your self confidence as well. This is why it is important to focus on you. Get more involved with your hobbies. Clear out the clutter in your house, so your space is physically cleansed as your cleanse your life emotionally. Get back into an exercise routine you enjoy, preferably with friends. Do anything that makes you feel good about yourself.

Avoid Interactions

This is particularly important in the early part of moving on from a bad relationship. Meeting up too soon means that you are still in the habit of being under their influence. No matter if you think you are over it in a few days/weeks, you aren’t because habits take a while to change. If you have similar circles of friends, try hanging out with friends you don’t see that often, or decide you will only do girl’s nights for a week weeks after ending a bad relationship. Whatever your method, don’t rush meeting up again. The longer the relationship, the long you will need to stay apart to ensure you are completely over them.

Think About What You Want

The end of relationships is the perfect time to consider what you want in life. Consider where you see yourself in 5, 10, 20, 30, even 40 years down the road. Think about your family, career and personal goals. A bad relationship helps you really realize what you don’t want, which in turn can help you focus in on what you do want. Think of the end of a bad relationship not so much as wasted time, but as a learning tool to help you asses and motivate you toward your goals.

No matter how you choose to move on from a bad relationship remember that you deserve to be treated as an equal and a treasure (as you should treat your boyfriend/partner in return). Finding a good relationship is a lot like picking fruit. There are a many that just aren’t right, some that are simply bad and a few that are perfect. It takes a lot of digging to find a good one, but eventually you will.

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Author Info
I have two goals every day, learn something new and write. If I have done that much, then it has been a good day. I have been a fitness instructor for 12 years and enjoy helping others discover the benefits of a healthy lifestyle. I like to learn at least a little about everything with my current focus being on wild foods, crafting, yoga and travel.


  1. So I’m 17 years old & I was in a bad relationship. It got so bad that he started cursing at me & calling me names when he got mad. And he also put his hands on me when I tried to leave. It was so hard for me because I lost my virginity to him and was with him for a long time. He became my comfort because he took away most of my friends. I am just a teen and it was so hard for me to leave him because I thought this was love. I realized it wasn’t when he first put his hands on me because I broke it off and finally got the courage to leave. My friends& family was so proud of me nobody knew what I was going through not even my parents. I grew a lot from it and I know now that wasn’t love, I will have real love one day. If I could do it anyone can, because now I’m happier than ever.<3

  2. I feel the same way. Worse is how would I even allow myself to think that I want to go back when he demeans me? That is totally unacceptable, and yet I still miss him. Honestly, I am no longer able to differentiate whether I miss him, or I just want to be the one who walks away first. I feel humiliated by his actions and that feeling is killing me. Every day!

  3. Hello Emily. Thanks for the article. You are right, I shouldn’t go back. I have done so too many times and I have been miserable with him anyway. Even though, i cant help but think of him, constantly! He is the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last when I go to sleep. Why does it hurt so bad? I wish I could rip my heart out! I feel so unattractive. I feel like nobody will ever want me. I just want him to love me again. Nonetheless, I will take your advice and play a sport. Maybe if I get back in shape I will feel better. Even find my inner happiness and peace. Besides I did love to see the look on his face when he sees me looking yummy! Wish me luck, I really need it.

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