Why Do We Worry and How to Stop Worrying?

The deep feeling of unease and fear that courses through our body, as we sit predicting the fearful outcomes the future will bring us, is what worrying feels like. It’s a very nauseating and physically uncomfortable state of being, and yet most of us live majority of our waking hours in this manner.

Why Do We Worry?

Most of us worry without any conscious control, almost on auto mode. If we look at the bare facts, the below are reasons why we worry.

  • Because we are never certain about what our future will bring us.
  • Worrying almost becomes a means of keeping the mind occupied while it waits for the future to arrive.
  • When we find that we are not in a position to take any concrete action, we allow ourselves to worry out of habit.
  • Our mind is conditioned to keep doing something or other, it can never rest or relax, so if it can do nothing about a situation it will just worry about it.

The bottom line is that we worry when we are not sure of what our future will bring us. People who worry a lot are in the habit of dreaming up a fearful future. Then they hold on to this negative future projection and worry about it.

Effects of Worrying

When you are in the habit of constant worrying it leaves little space for any creative solution to come through. Obsessive worrying is very stressful and leads to bodily harm. Diseases like nervous disorders, heart problems and constipation are precipitated more in people who are continually stressed out because of their habit of worrying.

A few other complications of worrying are

Sleeplessness – Most people start worrying the moment they hit their bed because they have nothing else to do till they go off to sleep. But worrying keeps the mind stimulated and hence you will feel sleepless. Thinking negative thoughts while in bed leads to disturbed sleeping patterns and lack of deep sleep.

Lack of concentration – It’s difficult to concentrate on the task at hand when you are worrying about the future. Most people who worry too much are usually under-performers and there is a lack of quality in their work output.

Few Tips to Stop Worrying

If you are in the habit of worrying obsessively, it can be quite a task to break out of the habit. What is needed is your deep resolve to break through this addiction. If you make worrying into a part of your personality, there is no hope of getting over it.

Here are a few simple pointers that guide you towards the truth of life, and help you stem the habit of worrying at its root.

Future can never be predicted, so quit trying – People who deeply realize this truth of life, live in surrender to what is. They don’t try to predict the future, they just make some practical plans and leave the rest to destiny. The more you try to control the more you will suffer. Worrying serves no purpose at all except to make you feel ill at ease.

Live by the moment – There is no reality to the images you create in your mind about the future. Look back on your life and see how many things you worried about really happened. In most cases, it will be none. The only moment which is under the influence of your control is the present moment. Rest in the now and see how beautiful life is.

Understand deeply that the mind is not in control – Life is a flux, it keeps moving. Worrying is the mind’s means of pretending as if it’s in control. It’s only pretence, because there is no truth to it. Your mind thinks that it’s steering this car called life but that’s just a laugh. When you deeply realize that life is not controllable, you let go of the need to resist or worry. You let life happen knowing fully well that it will give you the resources to deal with any situation which arises.

In a nutshell, give up the control which you don’t really have and you will stop worrying. If you try to stop worrying, you mind will worry more but if you just understand the truth of life deeply then the mind just relaxes and lets life be.

The secret to stop worrying, is to do what you can and leave the rest to destiny. At a deeper level you realize that the “I” that is so terrified of what life will bring about does not really exist as anything other than a thought or idea. Of course when you do realize this you become enlightened.

Related links:

Busy Woman Fitness – Inspirations Personal Training by Cindy Brotherston including more tips for women.












9 comments

  • Raff says:

    I do not agree that we do not have control över life. If you decide to not fly you will not die in fly accident, you can control a lot, but not everything. You can always minimize the risks.

  • Sen(Author) says:

    Negative thinking serves no purpose but to create resistance to the flow of life. When you know this truth, you will realize that it’s a waste of energy (and counterproductive) to give interest/attention to the negative thoughts of the mind. The brain is a survival machine and hence has the tendency to anticipate danger/threat to your well-being, even if it’s just imagined future scenarios. It’s your choice to let go of identifying with these thoughts in the brain, and shift your focus towards thoughts that bring you joy – this is what aligning with life is all about.

  • Sarah says:

    Hey, I’m only young and I’ve been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. We have a great relationship but I constantly worry that something will happen that will make us break up. I don’t want to worry about this anymore because I know it won’t happen. Please tell me how I can stop this?

  • Sen(Author) says:

    You are right Davy, the reason we cling to a bad relationship is because of the “neediness” within us to find security through a partner. Unless we are free within, we will always keep finding ourselves in “clingy” relationships which end up creating suffering for us. The way to freedom is let go of the mind, which is always trying to find security, and rest with your focus fully on the present. Allow life to move you instead of moving through the mind. One can sense the movement life when one is completely aligned with the now. The secret to stop worrying is to let go of the paying attention to the mind.

  • davy says:

    Hi Judy, I am just out of a bad relationship and having the same problem with sleeping, but then I have had this problem for years only in last couple of days repeatedly reading this articles I am starting to understand what they mean, it’s not something someone can really explain, only that you need to clear your mind of what has happened to make it a bad relationship to this date as it doesn’t matter anymore, and try to concentrate in the now. I have only realized now that I was emotionally reliant and although my partner was violent at times, it was me that gave her that power, by always looking for her approval, and having no self confidence but we cannot live like this, and to be loved properly we need to love ourselves first and if we love ourselves we won’t allow ourselves to be in a bad relationship! I know that’s probably confusing and your cursing me now, but please keep reading the articles related with this and just practice some of the techniques! Really hope this helps.

  • Judy says:

    Can anyone tell me what living by the moment is all about? And how it can help me stop worrying? I am in a bad relationship and in a lot of confusion. I can’t even get to sleep. Please help!

  • Mark says:

    The more I let go of my mind the less I get affected by its patterns of negative thinking. I can see the mind worrying about the future and I can also see that it’s just like a radio station which I can ignore at will. Thanks.

  • Renny says:

    I really liked the advice in this article, but the fact is that it is hard sometimes to live by the moment. Especially when you are feeling anger or anxiety. I am an introvert and constantly keep worrying about social occasions. I get nervous while anticipating a social occasion, for instance, a birthday party in the office. No matter how much I try to stay in the now, I am not able to. Can you give some advice on what I can do in this situation?

  • Johni says:

    Very good indeed!