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5 Tips to Surviving a Break Up

Break ups are never fun; however, when you’re the one being left, it becomes even more painful.  The time immediately after a break up is incredibly confusing and so charged with emotion that it is nearly impossible to think straight.  The following are some tips on things that you should avoid if your partner has just left you.

Break Up Tip #1 – Don’t Stalk Your Ex
Part of you is going to want to know every little thing about what your ex is doing.  It’s only natural – you’ve suddenly gone from knowing all about their lives to being left out of the loop.  It may start out innocently but can quickly become a slippery slope.  Before you know it, you’ll go from checking your ex’s Facebook page incessantly to hanging out outside their house.

The best thing for you to do is to give him space and fight the urge to find out what they are up to and who they might be seeing.

Break Up Tip #2 – Don’t Go on the Rebound
First, it is important to point out that there is a difference between dating again and “going on the rebound”.  Dating again is healthy and will help you to move on from your ex.  Going on the rebound is all about avoiding the fear of being alone by jumping into a new relationship.

Jumping right into a new relationship usually only leads to more problems and doesn’t help you heal from the break up.  Rather than dating other people and being exposed to all of the possibilities out there, you end up putting yourself into a relationship that will not build you up like a healthy relationship should.

Definitely go out and date other people, but don’t look to get into another serious relationship right off the bat.

Break Up Tip #3 – Don’t Delve Into Addiction
Being vulnerable after a break up, you will be more susceptible to the temptations in your life.  Whether these temptations involve compulsive eating, drugs, overdrinking, or other self-destructive behaviors, you need to keep them in check.  Try to remember that your ex is not worth you hurting yourself.  Also keep in mind that if you would like to get back together with him one day, addiction will shatter any hope of that happening.

Break Up Tip #4 – Don’t Isolate Yourself
Naturally, you’re probably not going to want to spend time with other people right after the break up.  However, you’ll have to actively work to keep this desire for alone time from taking over your life.  Definitely give yourself the alone time you need but don’t over do it.

You’ll find that the more you isolate yourself for prolonged periods, the deeper you will start to fall into depression.  Make a point of spending time with your closest friends and family to help balance out the time alone as you heal.

Break Up Tip #5 – Don’t Avoid Fun
Sometimes after a break up, all we want to do is dwell on the loss of a partner.  However, to truly make the healing process move faster, you have to get out and enjoy yourself.  Go out, date, hang out with friends, pick up new interests – focus on fun and you’ll find that getting over the break up will be much easier to do!

Tony Mann runs RecoverYourLove.com, a site dedicated to providing actionable relationship tips and helping couples stay together.