There is a deep seated need in all sentient beings for intimacy and approval.
So when we feel rejected, our sense of well being is often threatened and we end up feeling lonely, depressed or plain sad. Some of us are very sensitive and find it difficult to handle rejection of any form.
The most common form of rejection comes from people we fall in love with, or think we do. If love is not reciprocated, or if your advances are ignored, there is a natural feeling of being rejected. Sometimes rejection may even happen among friends.
Whatever be the cause of feeling rejected, it’s more important how you handle the rejection.
In this article let’s look at 10 powerful pointers that will help handle rejection in the right way and come out stronger.
1. Rejection is just one perspective
“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” ― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You
Life is an illusion because it’s a game of ideas and perspective that we create in our own minds.
Circumstances are neutral, it’s what we think of them that makes them either bad or good.
What you think of as rejection could well be a blessing in disguise. Ask yourself, are you really sure that the person who rejected you was worthy of your love?
Just thank God that you got lucky in time.
2. Understand that there is nothing wrong with you
“Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval from other people. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions.” – Harvey Mackay
This is not a “feel good” statement but a fact. What a person thinks about you does not ever speak about who you are in essence.
No one can truly know you, so if they judge you or reject you it’s just their problem or perspective.
There are so many relationships waiting to be made – Life is about abundance. If you think in terms of scarcity it’s just your mistake.
The most happy people around are the ones who know that life is rich and fulfilling in every way because it never runs out of new experiences.
3. Vent your frustrations
You don’t have to pretend there is no anger or frustration. If you feel these emotions inside you just give vent to it.
Just be constructive about it though – go for a rigorous jog or hit the gym with vengeance.
You can also spend some time alone (without any distractions) and let these feelings come up. Stay conscious, and observe these feelings in your body. Keep your body relaxed so these feelings are released.
If you feel overwhelmed, seek help from a friend or family member and vent out your feelings to them.
Realize that it’s okay to feel sad or depressed but also realize that this is just a temporary phase and will soon fade away.
4. Treat yourself with compassion
It’s easy to fall into the loop of negative thinking (negative self-talk) but you need to break this loop by staying conscious of your thoughts and reaffirming yourself with a positive message of love, kindness and acceptance.
It’s times like these that you need to be your own best friend instead of being your own worst critique.
5. Let go of hate
You can either live in hate or live in love, it’s your choice to make. What will you choose?
Hate is a negative energy that will consume you. It’s definitely not worth carrying the emotion of hate in your system.
So learn to forgive and move on. Don’t harbor feelings of hate towards anyone. Remember that no one is really to fault here. We are all doing just the best we can – no one’s right or wrong.
It’s not about how to handle rejection but how to live without hate.
6. Enjoy life without expectations
You can never predict your future so quit trying. Trust life and live without expectations, you will be surprised at how relaxed and enjoyable life becomes once you stop trying to control it.
It’s very true that whatever happens just happens for the good – remember that you always grow with every adversity.
Dealing with rejection may turn out to be an experience that helps you become a better person and gives a depth to your personality.
7. Focus on the positive things in your life
Make a conscious effort to shift your focus to all the positive things you have in your life.
Remember that refocusing is a conscious effort you will need to do again and again. Anytime you catch your mind ruminating on the negative, acknowledge this fact, take a deep breath, and shift your focus toward positive/constructive thoughts.
8. Enjoy the experience of rejection
Why not? It’s just an experience and it can be enjoyed completely.
Just think about all the good that can come out of this rejection – if you put your mind to it you are sure to come with at least 5 reasons why you should feel happy about the rejection. Try it out for yourself.
9. Start to know yourself better
Use the experience of rejection to do some introspection. Are you feeling needy or desperate for approval or love? Then may be the problem is that you’ve stop loving yourself and are giving away too much power to outside circumstances.
If you don’t love yourself it’s difficult to have a fulfilling relationship with anyone, so work on that first.
10. Learn From Rejection
Carrying on from the previous point, every experience in life carries with it valuable life lessons.
While it is imperative that you do not hang on to the past, it is also important that you learn the lessons that this rejection is trying to teach you. Use this experience as an opportunity to grow and be stronger and better.
Hope you took these tips on how to deal with rejection to heart. Life is either an adventure or nothing at all, live it in that spirit and you will only stay surprised at the beauty and flux of life.