When you are subjected to unkind behavior from a person you love and respect, it breaks your heart and makes you feel awful. You feel engulfed in a blanket of bitterness and pain which blocks you from seeing any light of happiness.
Such a bad experience drains you of all the positive energy and at times you might feel like you will never recover from it. But, you need closure. You need to accept what happened, get a grip on your negative thoughts and work on recovering by letting go of the pain.
Here’s are five pointers that will help you do just that.
1. Focus on loving yourself more than hating them
When you are hurt, a lot of negative emotions like sadness, disbelief, and anger take over you. You feel anger toward the person who hurt you as well as on yourself for letting them do this to you.
You just want to keep hating the person who has hurt you. But, what good will it do?
By doing so, you are only poisoning your mind and making yourself suffer.
To heal, it is important that you work towards infusing into your life, the love and positivity lost from the hurtful experience. All of your goals and life motives depend on your positive well-being.
Don’t waste your time dwelling in hurt. Shift your focus on being happy by letting go of the energy of hate and resentment.
Choose to love yourself and give yourself another chance to find happiness which lies in you.
2. Remember that people can actually become better
If the person who you admired, has become negative, it is indeed possible that this person can turn back to what they were before.
Believe that people can actually change for better. This will help you forgive them and move on with your life. It will be easier to heal if you let go of the notion that the person who has hurt you, will always keep hurting you.
You don’t want to hold on to grudges that are only piling up and taking space in your heart, which needs love. Sometimes people do make unintentional mistakes and end up hurting others.
If the person has genuinely accepted and apologized for their mistake, you need to accept it and let go of the pain you are holding inside you. Even if the person hasn’t owned up to their actions, you should focus on moving past the pain rather than stressing over it.
You can’t control how other people behave, but you can control your reaction to it and how it affects you.
3. Don’t close yourself off
Don’t let negative experiences stop you from living your life.
These experiences are a part of life and sometimes you are going to get hurt by people you love. That doesn’t mean you should become apprehensive about everything and everyone around you.
Yes, sometimes people screw up and commit mistakes, which we all do at some point in our lives, but that is no reason to shut yourself off from everyone around you.
There are wonderful people out there who would give you the love and respect you deserve. You just need to be open to accept them and look forward to new experiences.
4. Don’t let them control your happiness
Don’t let the person who hurt you have the control over your happiness. Don’t let the anger continue to get to you and mess you up.
The more you spend time on being angry at them, the more you are ending up hurting yourself because you will be constantly reminded of what they did to you.
Although other people have some influence in our lives, it’s certainly up to us how much we let them impact us.
Remind yourself that you have the power to make yourself happy.
If you are too dependent on others for happiness, you are more likely to get hurt. Be happy and confident in who you are and you won’t be easily hurt by anyone else.
5. Learn from it
Every experience, be it good or bad teaches us something valuable.
You grow with each experience. The takeaway from being hurt by someone can also turn out to be good as you get to know what your weaknesses are and what makes you vulnerable to such experiences.
You become more mature than ever and you know when to open up and when to set boundaries with people.
As much as you want to experience only good and pleasant things, bad experiences are inevitable. They will happen anyway and you will get hurt.
But, what’s important is that you learn to pull yourself back up after every fall and start over with even more determination each time.